well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.