Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
That was an excessively violent trivia night
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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