she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize