I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
