I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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