Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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