Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
