Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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