Duck Duck Cougar?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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