i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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