she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
