we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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