..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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