My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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