Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
