i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
