Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize