I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
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Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
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I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.