If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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