Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany

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  (917): i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany http://tfl.nu/9r3u
  Replies (22) Good night (540) Bad night (2468)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.

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  (248): I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight. http://tfl.nu/uwp5
  Replies (24) Good night (3558) Bad night (1047)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people

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  (203): I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people http://tfl.nu/t9vq
  Replies (39) Good night (700) Bad night (4818)
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  (818): View more from California

  I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.

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  (818): I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch. http://tfl.nu/o7me
  Replies (19) Good night (6885) Bad night (750)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.

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  (303): Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners. http://tfl.nu/xe1g
  Replies (36) Good night (6794) Bad night (992)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.

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  (630): I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit. http://tfl.nu/afy7
  Replies (14) Good night (6964) Bad night (1241)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot

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  (304): yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot http://tfl.nu/grz5
  Replies (2) Good night (1200) Bad night (556)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar

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  (732): How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar http://tfl.nu/83wg
  Replies (10) Good night (2975) Bad night (680)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.

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  (703): just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail. http://tfl.nu/7539
  Replies (6) Good night (1728) Bad night (637)
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  (310): View more from California

  OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?

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  (310): OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS? http://tfl.nu/ewib
  Replies (14) Good night (1728) Bad night (804)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.

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  (252): I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard. http://tfl.nu/2lw3
  Replies (17) Good night (4087) Bad night (735)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am

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  (204): I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am http://tfl.nu/cxx7
  Replies (5) Good night (860) Bad night (415)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again

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  (484): HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again http://tfl.nu/udnf
  Replies (0) Good night (326) Bad night (496)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake

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  (908): I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake http://tfl.nu/q1u7
  Replies (1) Good night (463) Bad night (156)
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  (619): View more from California

  He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.

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  (619): He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no. http://tfl.nu/auat
  Replies (1) Good night (194) Bad night (368)

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