in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
