well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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