thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Found the puke drawer
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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