He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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