I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
