I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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