How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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