I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
