The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
