Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
