The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
