wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
