Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
