i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
