Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
