Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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