If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
false alarm, still single
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
