I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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