well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
