Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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