And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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