Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
