THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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