just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
