just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
