do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
