This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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