Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he puts the penis in happiness.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
