I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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