Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
