i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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