Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I think I just shit out all my problems.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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