is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
