ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ketchup is God's man juice
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
