I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
