If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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