therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
