so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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