I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
