I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
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I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
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in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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