is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
