Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
