a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
