doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
