the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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