I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
