I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
