fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
