adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
