i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
