Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
