i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
